Here's the story of 62 year old Muniyammal (Name changed).
We spotted her at the bus stop in Padappai. You know on a first look that she was not a "usual begger" who would ask for alms. Though she would approach strangers for money, she would put a disclaimer saying that she was not a beggar. She felt really bad asking people for food or money, specially strangers. She had no choice but her current situation drove her into begging.
She opened up, after she was reaffirmed that we really intended to help her. Her story was stark and startling.
Muniyammal lives in the neighborhood of Padappai village along with his son and daughter-in-law. Her son, a sales manager with one of the city malls, works six days a week and works long hours each day.
A few weeks ago, her daughter-in-law made her go to a nearby shop. When Muniyammal returned, she found that the door of the house was locked from inside. She tried calling out to her dear daughter-in-law but was unsuccessful. She has to wait for many hours outside her own house. The door opened just a few minutes before her son could arrive.
Shaken and baffled at her daughter-in-law's behaviour, Muniyammal was angry but sad at the same time. Angry that she was a turned a stranger in her own house and sad that she couldn't even compain to her son, who comes home tired after a long day at work. Most days he would go off to sleep after a quick dinner. She did not want to burden her son with her sorrow.
It became an unwrittern rule, that she cannot stay in the house during the day time, specially while her son was away at work. She was told not to stay anywhere in the vicinity of the house, lest the neighbours might find out. She was driven away after a meager breakfast.
With no money in hand and hunger-sticken, Muniyammal had no choice but to end up at the bus stop begging for some money or food. On our intervention, Muniyammal joined a old age home. She might not have her children there but she sure will get the love and affection.
This is not the story of Muniyammal alone, but that of countless women!
Muniyammal's story raised many questions on our minds.
1. What were the societal triggers that made it possible for Muniyammal to end up in this situation?
2. Did Muniyammal’s son know about his mother’s situation?
3. Did he pretend not to know and sided with his wife?
4. What were the reasons for Muniyammal to be subjected to this treatment?
5. Where else could she turn for help instead of just trying to get some money from complete strangers at a bus stop?
6. How was she treated by the rest of the society?
We hope to find answers some day. During our work in Padappai, we encountered an alarming number of women, mostly elderly, who were finding themselves in worse situations than Muniyammal. They were abandoned or disowned by their families due to reasons such as
- an economic instability in the family,
- the breakdown of the extended family system,among other reasons.
They would be thrown out of their homes, exploited, and often are victims of street violence.
it is important to set the issue of abandonment of elderly within the larger historical, social and politico-economic contexts. We discovered the significance of class and caste of abandoned elderly women have in shaping, sustaining and changing these women’s lives and experiences.
Even as the world celebrates the World Women's day, Though the story of Muniyammal, Potter's Hand wishes to focus on the end-less tales of abondonment, lived and told by the elderly women of Padappai Village in South India. These experiences present alternate realities of powerlessness of the beggared and displaced faced by abandoned elderly in the society.
The need is far more and we need your help. We need your help in continuing to help them!
Make a decision to support one Elderly Destitute person with a monthly contribution today.
I want to give Rs.1,000
I want to give Rs.2,500
I want to give Rs.5,000
I want to choose my amount Rs.
Note: Clicking link opens payment gateway site.
About Us: Potter's Hand is a Registered Trust that works among the poor and underprivileged in the rural areas. Founded in 2013, Potter's Hand has touched the live of a few hundred children through its After-school Program (ASP) aimed at providing a strong fundametal education to children.We also work to empower women and children by training them in self-defense and provide medical aid to elders in early detection and to avoid chronic diseases, A legal aid cell is being currently set up.
Image Credit: www.outlookindia.com
Leave a comment